Sunday, December 6, 2009

I’m falling deeper and deeper,
harder and harder,
faster and faster for you.
My heart pounds,
my stomach gets fuzzy,
it feels like butterflies are just gonna come flying out.
The feeling you give me is sensational.
The way you make me happy when I am down,
How you can make me laugh no matter the situation,
And how you make my day by saying just a few words.
You make my world an interestingly fun place now.
You always seem to make me feel special, and I thank you for that.
You tell me I’m all these things; beautiful, sexy, pretty, funny.
I don’t believe I’m any of those,
Yet you still call me them,
I still love it.
Though I don’t think I am beautiful,
sexy,
pretty,
funny,
For the time being that you say those things,
I feel special.
When you say them,
I feel as if I am those things and you make me blush.
You make me feel loved and wanted,
like no one else has.
I just hope I make you happy,
make you feel as special and loved,
as you make me.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

.....I'm human....What if?

All I am is human,
Nothing I can do about that.
I have feeling I can’t control,
Feelings I can’t change.
Can’t be blamed for being human.

No one said life was easy,
No one said don’t take a chance.
So should I?
The question lurks in my mind,
Just waiting for an answer,
For it’s chance to know.

But what if I take a chance and it goes wrong,
What if I make a move and it goes wrong,
What if the feelings aren’t returned?
What if.

Alone...

Am I alone in my feelings,
What i think,
How i feel,
What i feel?
I feel as if so.
Why must I feel like this,
Why must i have these feelings,
Why am i the only one?
Makes my mind wonder,
Thoughts creep in my brain,
Making my head swirl.
Maybe I should shut them out,
Make them leave,
Hide them,
Never divulge them,
Never think of acting on them,
Never act on them.
Look like a fool,
Act like a fool,
Feel like a fool.
This is what the feelings do to me.
Never wanting to be embarrassed,
Rejected,
Looked at differently.
Shun these feelings,
Never think of them,
Hide them from myself,
From all.
Put them deep away and move on.
This is what I should do.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Life is a roller coaster ride.
Ups and downs,
Loops throwing you around.
At times it's horrid,
At times it's bliss.
It can be confusing,
It can be as simple as yes or no.
Situations racking our brain,
Making us think,
Rethink,
Contemplate.
Our decisions could be wrong,
They could be right.
Trying to decide on the unknown,
Keeping you awake,
Your brain non-stop,
Trying to figure things out.
Who knows what is right or wrong,
Is there a manual,
Is there a guide to use?
I wish i knew,
I wish I knew the answers to my life,
To make it more simple,
Uncomplicated.
Life is an uncertainty,
Nothing can be for sure without seeing the unknown.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

My heart beating strong,
Fast.
My pulse rising,
Feeling weak,
Light headed,
Dizzy.
Unable to move,
Don't wana move.
Feels like im nothing,
My heart in my throat,
Feeling each pound.
Not knowing what would happen,
What will happen.
Will it be good,
Will it be bad.
Who knows what will happen.
My love for you is like the endless diamond sky.
Bright,
Shinning,
Shimmering,
Everwhere.
I love you more than all those stars.
I get lost in your eyes,
Looking deep into them.
Looking in them is like a whole new world.
I find comfort in them,
Warmth,
Love,
Want,
Desire,
Lust,
Caring.
When I speak to you I smile,
I hear your voie and can't help it.
You make me laugh,
Giggle,
Blush.
You make me feel things I never have before.
You've captured my heart,
You hold the key.
Never forget,
Never deny,
Never second guess that I love you.
Never,
No matter what,
Always know I love you.
I looked up,
Saw a figure,
My heart froze,
Time seemed to stop.
I looked into his eyes,
Beautiful eyes.
I took a deep breath,
My heart started racing.
The figure came closer,
Staring at me.
Getting lost in his gorgeous eyes.
Not paying attention to anything around,
Not caring about anyone around,
Focusing on just him.
Not wanting to move,
Not wanting to look away,
Wanting to just stare into his eyes forever.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I am so tired of these games,
Of you making me feel bad.
If you really want me then show me,
Prove it,
If you don't then screw you,
I'll get over it,
But why should i waste my time,
Hurt my heart more than i need.
I cant ever talk to you about anything,
I don't feel comfortable doing it anymore.
I feel like if i open my mouth,
Say what I feel,
What's on my mind,
Then I will be hurting again,
Getting yelled at,
Making you mad,
You making me feel as if i did something wrong.

Somethings changed,
I feel it in my body,
My bones,
My soul,
My heart.
I hear it in your voice,
Something about you isn't the same,
Not the same one i fell in love with.
Something,
Someone has changed you.
You don't seem to be as warm,
Loving,
Caring towards me.
It hurts.
You voice actually bugged me,
For the first time I had to stop listening to you.

I'm tired of games,
I'm tired of hurting,
I'm tired of feeling like i'm the one in the wrong,
I'm tired of being alone.
Don't you think I have feelings too.
Don't you think I have bad days,
I want someone to talk to,
That someone being you.
Girls and guys are different.
When we get mad we want you to run after us,
Make it better.
When you get mad you all want us to leave you alone,
Give you time to cool off.
We feel like we need to make it better,
It's in our DNA,
It's in our nature.
Men don't understand.
If we are upset,
Mad,
Pissy,
Even at you,
Run your asses after us,
Before you lose us.

Forgive us for wanting to try and make your problems better,
To make them disapear,
To make the stress go away,
To make everything better.
It's who we are,
That will never change.

Men need to learn too,
How to treat us,
How to react to our problems,
How to speak to us.

You arn't the only one with problems,
We have them too,
We wana talk about them,
To you.
Express our feelings,
For someone just to listen,
To make it better.
We have problems,
Feelings,
Voices too

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I use to make you happy.
I use to make you smile.
I use to make you happy when sad,
Smile when something was wrong.
I don’t do this anymore,
Why.
Why is it that I don’t make you happy?
Aren’t I the same person?
Don’t you still love me?
Shouldn’t the one you love make you happy?
You should want to talk to them,
Want to be with them,
Want to spend time with them.
You shouldn’t have to fight for their attention,
Their affection.
This is not love.
Love is shown,
Flaunted,
Wanted.

Why must I fight,
Why must I feel like I beg,
Why is it I don’t feel wanted,
Cared for,
Loved,
Like I make you happy anymore.

I need attention,
Need love,
Need to be wanted,
Need to be the one to make you happy,
To make you smile.

I want you to want to talk to me,
To spend time with me,
To be with me,
But this is not so.

I use to make you happy.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Guys,
Who needs them?
We don’t need these low level species,
What use are they to us really.
They are all useless,
Jackasses,
Wolfs is sheep’s clothing,
Waiting to stop,
Smash,
Devourer their prey,
That prey being us.
Thinking we are weak,
Little bunnies,
Like we are scared of them.
We are the higher species,
We need to stand up,
Show them who’s superior.
Stomp,
Smash,
Rip apart their species.
They are no good,
None of them.
Low down,
Dirty,
Scum.
They are the bottom feeders of our world.
The only good thing about them,
The one thing is in their pants,
Sometimes that’s not even that good.

They are knuckle draggers,
Cavemen,
Have no respect,
No intelligence,
No thoughts of what their actions do,
Destroying anything in their path.
Well not me,
Not this time,
Not anymore.
I will no longer stand in line,
Stand to the side,
Stand down from men,
Be pushed around,
Told what to do.
I am better,
I am superior.

You best take notes,
Best watch out.
I will no longer be treated poorly,
Take things lying down.
I will fight back,
I will win,
You no longer have control over me.
I am stronger,
I am smarter,
I am superior.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I need a guy...

I need a guy,
A guy that wants to love me,
To show his love to me.
Wants to cuddle,
Wants to kiss,
Wants to spend time with me.
I need a man who wants to show his love to me,
Who wants to prove his love,
To always let me know he loves me.
A man that isn’t afraid of public,
Who doesn’t care who is around.
One that will kiss me,
Hold my hand,
Be lovey even in public,
Even to just let everyone else know I’m his.
I want a man that would be happier,
Happier than anything to call me his,
For me to call him mine.

I want a man that will always love me,
That will never hate me,
That will always want to be with me.
A man that cares deeply and will show it to me.

This kind of man does not exist.
If this species of man is around all other men are doomed.
This type of man must be on another planet,
Extinct,
Maybe even just a fantasy that wont come true.
I can always wish and hope,
Though it won’t come true,
I still have my dreams to escape to when I close my eyes.

Friday, May 29, 2009


I don't think I can do this anymore,
I don't think I can hold on any longer.
There's nothing left,
Nothing left to give,
Nothing left to take,
There's nothing left of me.
My hearts gone,
My spirits broke,
I feel cold and alone.
Everything is gone from me,
There's nothing but a shell left.
I've cried,
I've tried,
I cant do it anymore.
There's nothing left,
I feel hurt,
But at the same time I feel nothing,
Nothing more is left.
Men are the enemy,
I know this now.
Nothing comes good from them,
Nothing comes from them.
They are cold,
Heartless,
Selfish,
Their words meaningless.
There's no point in trying,
No point in faking.
I've put on this fasuade for way too long,
Thinking,
Hopeing it would be true.
Nothing I do is good enough for you.
You think of me as nothing,
As something to throw away when bored.
I don't think I can do this anymore.
There is nothing left of me,
No emotion,
No feeling,
Nothing.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Lessons Learned In Pain

I’ve learned my lesson,
No more will I trust,
No more will I care.
I put a shield around my heart,
My soul.
You will not take it,
You will not steal it.
You’ve hurt me too many times,
I cannot let this happen again.
I’ve learned my lesson.
You’ve made me cold,
Dark,
Heartless.
Not wanting to have feelings,
Not wanting to get hurt again.
You have done this to me,
Turned me this way.
I use to be sweet,
I use to be kind,
I use to be loving,
But no more!
All it does is end up hurting me.
I cannot put up with your taunting me,
Your stringing me along,
The hurt,
The pain you cause is too great.
I feel like there are a thousand stabs in my heart,
Scars of healed wounds.
I am not me anymore,
I am not the person I once was.
I blame this on you.
I will be civil towards you,
But not like I once was.
I’ve learned my leasson,

I’ve learned it well.

Love Makes Fools Out Of Women

It starts out nothing,
Turns into something,
Makes us go nuts,
Makes fools out of us.
We fall head over heels too fast,
We don’t learn from the past,
Love makes fools out of us.
We try and make you happy,
But we end up being sappy.
Love makes us blind,
Makes us too kind,
We don’t see the real you.
You break our hearts,
Break them apart,
You don’t care,
You tare us apart.
We act goofy with you,
Around you,
About you,
Love makes fools out of us.
Cockamamie.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Broken Hearts and Lost Causes

You don’t listen to me,
You don’t care about me,
You have no interest in what I say.
You shrug me off like I’m nothing,
You say you love me but I don’t see this.
How can someone love me and treat me this way.
If you love me you would not do so.
If you love someone you don’t shrug them off,
If you love someone you care,
You listen,
You pay attention.

I cannot take this anymore,
The way you treat me isn’t love.
You hurt me and don’t care,
You make me feel like I’ve done wrong,
I haven’t.
You make me feel low,
Like I am nothing in your life,
As if I am the lowest priority.
This isn’t love.

You don’t know what you are going to lose,
You are losing me.
I do not think I can take it anymore,
So don’t be surprised if I leave.
I will not be treated this way,
Not even if I love you.
This is not the way to treat someone,
Not someone that you love.
I do not think you care that you are losing me,
If you did you would know what you are doing.
I do not think you could be as stupid as you seem,
Anyone could see what you are doing to me,
That I am ready to quit,
Ready to run,
Ready to give up.

I do not think I deserve this,
To be treated this way.
I deserve better,
To be treated better,
To be loved and wanted.
I have tried to make you happy,
You have not done the same.
You are selfish,
You don’t truly love me,
Or maybe you are just an ass.
Either way, I deserve better,
I will find better,
Better than you.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Friends






You talk to me,
You spend time with me,
You like me for who I am.
You don’t want me to change,
You accept who I am.
I don’t want you to change,
I like you the way you are.
We seem to click,
We understand each other very well.
I can’t imagine anything you’d do,
Anything you’d say,
To make me go away.
You are special to me,
In a way unexplained.
Thank you for being you,
And accepting me for me.


Friday, May 22, 2009

Don't Call Me


Don't Call Me Baby,
Don't Call Me Sweetie,
Don't call me Darlin',
Don't Call Me Hunnie,
Don't Call Me Anything.
Those are loveing names.
Words that should only be said if you love that person.
You don't love,
You can't love,
You say you do but you don't.
I don't want to hear these words,
I don't want to hear these names,
I dont want you to be sweet unless you care,
I don't want you to lie about your feelings to me.
If you really care, then show it! Prove it!
Stop putting me aside!
I will not settle for third place in your life.
I will not settle for anything anymore.
Don't call me it, unless you mean it.


Tired of it all!

My pulse racing,
My heart pounding,
My brain tensing.
I just wana scream!
Scream at those who mock me,
Those who put me down,
Those who treat me like dirt,
Those who think im a child.
To those who say something and do another,
To those who hurt me,
To those who lie to me,
To those who break my heart,
To those who think their actions have no affect.
I'm tired of you all!
I'm tired of the pain,
The fustrasion,
The unhappiness you bring on.
I need a pillow to cover up my screams,
A punching bag to be angry at,
A Cherrybomb in my hand to calm my nerves.
No more will i put up with you!
No more will I keep quiet!
No I don't want the drama,
Yet I cannot do this any longer.
I have to say what you do to me,
How i feel you treat me,
How you make me feel like i am nothing.
This is over and I am done,
No more putting up with people treating me like im nothing,
No more with people treating me like a child,
No more with people saying one thing and doing another,
No more with people getting away with it.
No more will i be affected by someone elses choices,
No more will i be affected by someone elses moods,
No more will i be affected by someone elses issues.
If you say something to me you better keep what you say.
Don't go back on it,
Don't change your mind,
Don't forget about me,
Don't let your mood affect what you say.
If you treat me like im nothing, that's what i'll be come.
If you treat me like a child, you will get a childs response.
If you keep treating me like this,
If all of you keep treating me like this,
There will be no more me around.
I will dispear from your life.
If you want me in your life you better start acting like it,
Start treating me better,
Start paying attention to me,
Start being with me and not shunning me.
I'm tired of you all!
I'm done with you all!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

......Untitled.....

The love you send is vibrant,
Full of color and feeling.
Sometimes it's hard to know if you are really there,
Others doubt your existance,
But I know you are there.
You give me strength in my hectic life,
The will power and understanding to go on.
At times I just want to scream and let go of it all,
You help me keep it together, keep my cool.
Thank you for your forgivness for all I have done wrong,
Thank you for your undying love,
Thank you for always being there to turn to.
I might not always feel you are here,
But you are.
I cannot feel you,
I cannot touch you,
I cannot see you,
But i know you are here watching over my life,
Forgiving all I do that is wrong.
Your never ending love will help me thorugh all in life.

Friday, May 15, 2009

One and Only


You are my one and only,
My true hearts desire.
Your lips pressed up against mine,
So soft and warm,
Like a sweet cherry kiss.
I feel a surge through my body,
Like nothing I have felt before.
When you kiss me everything is bliss,
Nothing is wrong,
I see no one else around,
You and I in our own little world.
You are my soul mate,
For I know this deep down.
My love,
My want,
My desire,
My one and only.

The Break Up (for laura)


It breaks my heart to think you don't love me.
You don't love me the way I love you,
The way you said you loved me.
I hate you at the same time I love you.
You drive me crazy.
You denied what you were doing,
But I saw otherwise.
You explained what I found and I believed you.
You said you wanted to marry me,
Of course I wanted the same.
You were secretive,
I had a feeling,
I just couldn't confront these feelings.
I hate that I love you.
I found more proof that you were not just with me.
I just hate this,
I want to give up.
This time I will not let you fool me.
It hurts but I will not let myself hurt any longer.
I am so over this.
You called to wonder if we were over.
You did not try to exlain,
You did not apologize,
You didn't even try to convince me to not leave you.
You just wanted your shit.
I hate you!
You told me you would not lie,
You told me you loved me.
I want you to do what you said you would do.
Even now I still love you,
I am not sure exactly what to do,
But I will survive.
I will rise above all of this and leave you in the past.
You will not hurt me anymore,
I can not be hurt anymore.
I am becoming numb to this thing called love.
It's just a word,
It means nothing anymore.

The End (for laura)


It’s all I can feel,
All I can think.
I can’t take it anymore!
As much as I hurt,
As much as this will hurt,
I can’t do it anymore.
No one,
No man,
Is worth burying your head in the sand.
The sand only prolongs the pain I feel,
Burying my head makes it worse.
Why should I be in this pain for you,
Why must you put me in this pain.
If you loved me you would not.
I can’t take it anymore,
I wont take it anymore!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

You Are What Makes My Life


As the sun is bright you brighten my life,
Your smile,
Your voice,
Your touch,
Your love,
All shine on my gloomy day.
When you smile I cant help but smile.
When you laugh I laugh too.
When you are happy it rubs off on me.
I can’t stay mad at you for anything.
You just smile,
Laugh,
Say I love you and I melt.
I look into your eyes and I’m yours forever.
When your eyes smile at me I blush.
I feel your warmth no matter how far we are.
You are what makes my day.

Not a poem, but i love this song!!!! I Feel this way most the time

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lostTo be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurtTo feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Untitled

My friend wrote this poem,
and I loved it so much I had to share it
with all of you!
I hope yall love it as much as I do.





Dream of happy things

Of butterflies with golden wings

Of great blue skies

And lullabies

And things

Dreams of someone you love dear

Dreams of standing way up here

Dreams of flying with the birds

Dreams of no more hateful words

Dreams of hearts that want to give

Dreams of a love that will always live

That is what I want to give

To youHold me now

Don't let me go

You know I can't let

These feelings show

Some day soonI know we'll be

Together in harmony

But until then

What can we do?

For I am stillApart from you

All I have

Is all I knowI can find you

Wherever I go

For if I just close my eyes

I will see you

Standing there next to me

So dream a dreamof me

Together we can swim the sea

Everything will be

As we want it to be

As long as

We dream

Now that you

Have heard my Song

Now that this

Lullaby is sung

Close your eyes

And dream


Written by J.E.D,

more work can be found at:

musingsfromwunderland.blogspot.com

My Whole World


You Are My Life,
My Whole World.
I Would Lie For You,
And I Would Die For You.
I Would Do Anything For You.
You Are The Most Important Person To Me,
You Couldn’t Do Anything To Make Me Love You Less,
And My Love For You Will Never Dwindle,
It Will Only Grow More As The Days Pass.
I Will Love You As The Days Go On,
As The Years Pass By,
And That Will Never Change Throughout Your Life.
I Love You My Little World.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Crazy, Smothering, Head Over Heels?


Wanting to talk twenty-four-seven,
Wanting to hear you say I love you,
Even one-hundred times a day,
Being all selfish and wanting you to myself.
Getting jealous and being a woman,
Having my doubts.
Wanting to feel your touch,
The feel of your skin next to mine,
Your lips and my lips combined.
No I’m not perfect,
But neither are you.
Does wanting to be loved by you,
Hearing you say those three words,
Hearing your sweet voice,
Talking to you all the time,
And always knowing you care,
Make me crazy,
Make me smothering,
Or just make me head over heels.
Either way I don’t care,
Because it’s me,
It’s who I am and what I am.
So take me or leave me,
You decide.
I hope you choose the one best for you,
But don’t forget I’m here too.

Take it to heart


We started together,
You left me in the dust.
I broke your heart,
So you ripped mine apart.
You wanted nothing to do with me,
But all I craved was you.
You forgave me,
And now im back to my ways with you.
I think about you,
I dream about you,
It’s all I can do.
I picture it so well,
Something not true.
All I want is to be with you.
You have your moments,
As I do mine,
No matter what I’m by your side.
Through the good and the bad,
The ups and the downs,
I will always be by your side without a frown.
Making you smile is something I love,
And deep down inside something you really love.
So take this to heart,
No matter what happens,
I never want to be apart.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Lullaby Voice


His voice seeps through my veins,

Making me warm and comforted.

It's a sound I love to hear,

I crave to hear.

I want to feel his voice next to me,

To not have it so far away.

It's such a sweet sound,

A lullaby in its own.

I get butterflies when I hear it,

His voice reaches my soul like none other has before.

It's peaceful and kind,

And something I will always want to hear.

The sound is unique,

Like no one else.

Could never mix it up with someone elses.

I could pick it out of a crowd if asked.

It's so different and smooth,

I don't see how anyone couldn't love the sound,

The sound of the lullaby voice.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Why Must You/Don't Know What To Do


Why must you do this to me.

Why must you pull me in close then push me away.

Why must you do it again.

Is it just to see the pain,

To see how much power you have over me.

Am I stupid for believing in you,

Or am I blinded by love.

Is love really even there from you

Or is this just a trick from you.

How am I suppose to know.

I have faith,

I have hope,

But is it all just a lie.

How do I know.

All I can do is believe it is true,

All that you tell me, all that you say.

What else am i suppose to do.

I don't want to turn my back,

But is that what I have to do.

I do not know what to do.

I do not know how to act.

I do not know what to say.

I feel like everything I do is wrong,

Why must you make me feel this way.

Is this just a trick, a lie, some fantasy.

Are you trying to pray on my weakness,

Show how much power you have.

Are you Hitler and me a jew,

Are you the devil and me just a weak angel.

I do not know why you do what you do,

So I do not know what to do.

20steps forward, 30back


We go 10 steps forward
Then 10 steps more.
We get each other,
We know one another.
We have a connection like no one else.
I fall headover heels,
But then I make a mistake.
We take 30 steps backwards,
To a place we have never been before.
We say nothing to each other,
Trying to avoid one another.
We are like strangers now.
You say you forgive,
But I dont think that's true.
You say you love me,
But i dont know if thats true.
I dont know where we are now,
But I know where we are not.
We are not like before.
Will we ever be as we were,
I wish so.
I miss those days,
So bright and wonderful.
I looked forward to the day when I awoke,
But only because I knew I'd get to talk to you.
See your face,
Your smile,
Hear your voice that was like music to my ears.
Now when I awake the day is full of gloom,
I don't get to talk to you,
I don't get to see your face,
No wonderful music for my ears.
Will we ever be the same,
Like we were before.
Please tell me we will.
I want to know we will.
All I can say for now is goodbye.
Goodbye bright day,
Goodbye music,
Goodbye to holding on,
On to wishing and hopeing and wanting.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Your Voice


Waiting, Waiting, Waiting
Waiting for you hurts more than not.
The sound of your voice screeches through my head
It hits my heart like pin needles.
You arnt speaking to me but yet I hear you.
I try to wait as you ask but it hurts.
Why must I wait,
I don’t understand.
You said if you told me I wouldn’t understand.
Tell me! How do you know.
I just might understand,
if not explain it so I can.
This pains me so and I don’t think you know.
Stop making me wait and put me out of pain.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I Hate/Why.




I hate that I love you,


I hate how I love you,


I hate that you say you love me.


I don't feel this so call love.


I do not see this "love" you say you have for me.


Shut your mouth and say it no more!


I hate that I feel that I cant live without you,


But I hate your actions towards me.


How you make me feel,


Sometimes good, other times horrid.


I hate that feeling!


Why must you do this to me,


Why must you drive me crazy.


Decide! Decide! Decide!


Why must you make me suffer so,


Why must I feel like I need to earn your love.


Why don't you want me, then do.


You make me go round and round.


Getting dizzy from this dance.


Unsure what's real and what's not,


What is truth and what is lie.


I don't want to do this dance any longer,


I do not want to spin anymore.


Make up your mind!


Do not keep me if you want to let me go.


Do not make me want to scream like you do so well.


I'm tired of this crap!


I'm so over this rollercoaster.


Hiding


No more.
I will not hide anymore.
I try and hide my feelings, my thoughts
But no more!
I cannot be me if I hide,
If you love me like you say you'd know,
I just want to speak my feelings, my thoughts.
I don't want to hide anymore.
It hurts me to hide who i am.
It hurts me to hide my inner thoughts.
When hiding I just want to scream.
I hurt when I try to hide.
It's not fair that I should hide.
I hide because I'm afraid,
Afraid of saying or doing something to push you away.
I do love you.
I don't want to lose you,
I can't lose you,
But I must be me.
So decide if you want me, or the hiding me.
If you want me in pain or to be happy.
Tell me what you want, but only if I can tell you too.

Devil in Disguise











You Say You Love Me, But Your Actions Say Different.
Your Words Hit Me Like Acid.
They Cut Through Me Like A Sword.
You Liar, You Fraud.
You Say Only What I Wana Hear.
Devil in Disguise.
Words Meaningless, Actions Hurtful.
I Become numb, Ignoring It Now.
Body and Mind Fighting You.
You Trick Me No More.
I Believe In You No More.
Fuck You!

You Liar, You Devil, You Fraud!
Your A Snake Prying On My Hunger And Weakness.
You Will No Longer Hurt Me.
I Will Not Let You.